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Crónicas de... lo que sea

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He estado escribiendo algo, y me gustaría saber su opinión sobre esto. Comienza en el siguiente párrafo.

James K. Allen amaba tres cosas:

La primera era una sopa de pollo. La segunda era mas sopa caliente de pollo. La tercera era a su esposa (quien le daba esa rica sopa de pollo).

James solía todos los días regocijarse en su vida. Su vida era lo reflejaba a la perfección. Su infancia fue relativamente feliz, por lo que era un niño muy insoportable. Saltaba en las camas cantaba en la escuela (sus compañeros no lo soportaban). Bla, bla, bla, pura felicidad (¿o hiperactividad?). Como sea, los seres queridos no ayudan mucho en mantener la alegría. Su padre murió de un "ataque al corazón" (aunque ¿realmente lo hizo?) a los 12 años.

Después de este acontecimiento, empezó a llevar su vida con algo de "clase" (para los estándares de un gangster de cuarta) encontrando un "buen" trabajo en los "negocios" del rechoncho señor Brown. Su trabajo le valió una "enorme valoración" en su escuela.

Esto es mas o menos lo que seria el principio de la historia. Un poco de información sobre lo que pasa:

Ambiente: Nueva Orleans, año 2040-2060 (?) (aunque ¿el tiempo ha pasado en este bodrio desde 1960?). Es un poco distópico, aunque eso no es un elemento muy importante

Personajes:

James K. Allen (principal): 48-50 años, viudo (?). Profesión: lo que sea que de buen dinero (pero principalmente, investigador privado)

Jefe Jhon: 60 años (¿hace algo, aparte de fastidiar?)

Bien, este es el fin del tema, pero si quieren pueden hacer sugerencias en los comentarios. Muchas gracias por tomarse la molestia de leer todo esto.

¿Como lo ves?

Esta bueno

Vas bien... pero necesitas hacer algunos ajustes

¿Que mierda?

Pn

No c bro disculpa

No se leer (no mientas)

Ja ja ja... leer. Solo los pobres hacen eso, para eso están las películas

VOTAR

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